It’s been a saying that you can never realize something important to you until it/he/she is gone. And right now, the effects of losing someone is really on the rise – not on me, but to someone who is related to me by blood.
Losing a mom is something someone could never really understand unless it happens to you personally – at least that’s what it looks like to me.
My cousins are so young when they lost their mom, and its not even a year yet so its still obviously so fresh to their hearts and minds – to the point of driving one of them into insanity.
Well, they’re not insane yet. But depression must be taking hold of them, at least to one of them.
She’s young and witty but on the other hand, she could not get over the fact that her mom is gone. The one she used to always confide in. The one who used to make the life-changing decisions for her. The one who used to cajole her each time she makes a failing grade. The one who used to comfort her in time of her lowest moments. And now that her mom has gone on, juggling a full load of classes in college has become too much for her. She knows she’s failing but couldn’t help it. She wanted to pass but too confused to get a homework done. She tries to listen to lectures but nothing seems to come in. She’s trying but she’s still failing. And she’s scared about it. Her promises to her mom is failing apart. And nothing – at least to her own brain – seems to be going on quite right.
If you look at her, it would seem like she’s apathetic about it. It would irritate you to know that all your help to her would be in vain.
But looking into her situation a bit deeper, you would realize that it’s much more that mere apathy. As the psychiatrist has said, she’s already in the state of deep depression. It could be dangerous to her. It could be suicidal. And it must be cured.
So this is how it has been. My own mom doing all her best to help her young niece get back up in life. My own mom doing the decision for her. My own mom has become her temporary mom now.
She could be. Why not? She lost a mom too, as a young child. And perhaps that’s one thing they have in common. But my own mom learned to be move on. She learned how to be strong.
And maybe while she’s still alive – that’s one thing that I could never understand.
But looking at her right now, makes me all the more proud to have a mom who could comfort a child not really her own – well maybe 25% related. But still.