State of Confusion
Evidently, I have him in my heart and mind so hard, even in my subconscious mind at that. I dreamt so closely of him I could almost touch him, and us, together.
Only ifΒ I did, I know everything would be gone.
Just like now.
My mind is still boggling with unutterable questions. Questions likes, Did he do that just get rid of all the negative info about himself, and not because he really cared about me?
Suffice it to say, Iβm currently confused.
Thanks to the book Iβm reading now, When God Writes Your Love Story, somehow it tames my thinking and calms my mourning heart.Β Somehow it made me realize that Iβve been forgetting to whom really I live for. Somehow, it made me realize that the reason Iβm feeling this way is because Iβve set my affection and attention too much on him and not on Him.
Itβs true, honestly. I thought everything would be okay by now, since almost every one I know, knows that we are couple.
But I was wrong.
I completely ignored that fact that he isnβt ready yet. He isnβt ready yet to accept the responsibility that would come if we declare our feelings for each other. Of all the people I know, heβs one of the few who knows that the life I want is too far from how Iβve been living now.
There. That made think of another negative thing. That I had been just a little too hard on him on saying those things. Maybe nasakal lang sya. I donβt know. But its hard to think about that when heΒ said heβll be back for me when heβs ready to face my family.
I donβt know.
Right now, Iβm just confused.
And what does a confused girl like me do in times like this?
One thing of sure, there are lots of work waiting for meβ¦
jenamaenb
I'm an IT Professional, and I aspire to help people find their voice online. Mine, happens to be blogging and I share lifestyle tips, creative quirks, and some travel inspos, sprinkled with blogging tips and tricks in hopes inspire everyone to just open up and share. If not blogging, or in front of the computer, I love reading, sewing and sometimes baking when I feel like it!
Please Lord Please
Entering 2012..
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