I was looking through my files again and I found this unpublished blog entry of mine dated November 3, 2009. It’s an entry within an entry and I thought it was a little hilarious reading it now..:)
…… I feel like I have run out of words to write. Even now, it still seem true. What do I need to write that’s worth a time reading?
Because knowing my life, there’s really nothing interesting. I sleep, (usually late at night), I wake up in the morning (usually very late too), I eat, and I sit in front of the computer, clicking away my boredom.
There are times that I feel totally dejected and useless because, right now, I’m done with college and I’m definitely jobless.
Not that I haven’t been accepted to any jobs. It was because I quit all my previous jobs since I never ‘loved’ it.
And its not that I haven’t tried applying anywhere yet. In fact, I’m on the waiting list in the company where my dad works.
So, basically what I do to pass away my time every day, is sit in front of my laptop, fidget with websites and think about particularly nothing.
Lately though, as I mentioned in my previous entry, I was mysteriously bothered by the thought of my elongated presence on the internet.
I mean, my blogging presence.
When I googled my name, I saw a list of many websites linking and pointing their finger at me. Sites that I joined years ago. I got sacred. Literally. Sacred that I have stripped off myself too much online and there was nothing more I can hide from people anymore, both online and offline.
Especially when I read about those people who were being stalked because they put too much information online, enough for them to be traced to their real life address and be raped or kidnapped or something. Now that is scary, because I don’t want to be stalked. Ever.
My real (offline) friends know that I keep an online journal and that I am an internet geek. But to what extent have they known my existence online, I have no idea.
I have diminutive idea if they really read my entries or not. I receive little comments and mostly they were from people I really don’t know personally. And even in real life, I receive little comments.
Someone told me that he has read through my old online diary – every bits and pieces of it – and has been following this one every since.
Now if that would be true to most of the people I know, then I’m dead. Not literally, idiot. But emotionally dead.
I mean, I am this quiet girl in real life. Who, at first meeting, would be really tight-lipped whom you would prefer throwing a plateful of sticky rice at. I am not that vocal about what I think and what I feel. I’d rather shy away in a corner and observe what you are doing, until such a time that you come to me and force me to talk.
And with someone reading my thoughts and feelings in a place I personally reserved for my emotions and playful thoughts, it feels pretty threatening. I thought I have gotten through with this apprehension, but as I looked over my past online existence, every strands of my hair seemed to stick out of its pores. Figuratively – again.
Maybe I shouldn’t have started getting online in the first place. But everything is too late for me now. I feel totally emptied in front of everybody.
Maybe this is what I’m destined to be – an open diary. My life is an open diary….
That was just an excerpt from my online journal dated August 12, 2009.
As a teen, I became really fond of online journaling. At that stage, I signed in to different websites just to promote my online diary. Knowing that I was obscure behind my computer screen and no one would notice me or even take interest in my life, I almost did everything to spread my identity online. But as I grew older, my interest to online blogging seemed to diminish little by little, maybe because my attention was diverted to more important things in life, like college. Then, there was this time that I googled my name, just out of curiosity. I was amazed at how many sites had my name listed on it. At first I was excited but then anxiety kicked in. What if somebody starts to stalk me in real life? What if somebody kidnaps me and asks for ransom from my parents? Or what if the FBI finds out that I download files from Limewire and bans my IP address? I mentally panicked, literally, so I googled for some tips to remain indistinct while maintaining my online identity. Here are some common considerations that I found:
1. Do Not Post Private Information.
Avoid posting personal information such as your home address, contact numbers, and personal information and relations. These can invite someone to be interested in you. I personally don’t put my home address and personal contact number online. I keep that for somebody I know personally.
2.Do Not Post Your Hobbies.
These are just some stuff that can attract stalkers to you. They’ll await your every move and possibly use it to hunt your current location.
3. Do Not Post Obvious Photos.
Avoid posting photos that can give away your location or your constant hang out. This can lead stalkers to your favorite place and can do damage to you in one way or another. Better yet, do not post your pictures at all. Plastering your face all over the internet can cause you much trouble.
4. Do not post inappropriate dialogues.
Badly chosen words and phrases can offend someone within your circle of friends. It can cause trouble with people you already know personally which can be far worse than having a bunch bullies around you.
According to Sharon Housley, “While blogging can be a great outlet and channel, and in some way immortalizing thoughts, it is important that safety is considered and that good blogging practices are followed at all times.”
Always remember to be cautious with your online ways. You wouldn’t know who and what kinds of people are watching your every move.
I am Jena, an experienced content creator, who is passionate about travel, health and wellness, and fashion. I'm an avid traveler and digital nomad, who loves to craft and sew and who has some IT background. I aspire to help others with 'no niche' online find their voice and just express themselves.